Chin Envy
by Margret Echeverria
Do you remember the Just My Size television commercial a few years ago? A beautiful plus-sized blond woman is sitting at a bus stop in the rain with a red umbrella in her hand. She crosses her legs wearing perfectly fitting Just My Size pantyhose. The camera pans to a close up of her happy face and a beautiful defined jaw line. Outwardly, I celebrated seeing a plus-size model on a national television commercial. Inwardly, I envied her chin.
There was a time when I thought that I could “get-away with” a little weight on the rest of me if my face looked slender – especially in my business. I’m an actress in New York City. I’ve lived in fear of type-casting for years. It really does exist and, while playing any well-written part is always gratifying on many levels, being cast as essentially the same character over and over again is very disappointing. I’m always looking for opportunities to stretch my talent to new creative territory.
The first thing a casting director usually sees when considering me for a role is my “headshot,” which is a close up picture of my face. For some reason I had always thought that giving “good face” to an approaching camera meant sucking in my cheeks, placing my tongue firmly against the roof of my mouth and thrusting my chin down and out – thus cleverly faking a defined jaw. This, as you may have guessed, never worked. My sloped neck always showed prominently and sometimes I even created the appearance of jowls. Not to mention that I looked less than relaxed and not at all like myself. I frequently admonished myself for doing it wrong and, secretly, I would promise myself to get it right the next time.
A couple of years ago I had an image epiphany. It began the day I was introduced to Sydnie and Stephen – a married couple who have been in the photography business for over 30 years. Right away it was as though we had known each other for a very long time. I already felt very comfortable with them before I discovered that they were in the “business.” Then, one day my new friends suggested that they photograph me for a book that they were producing.
I was flattered and eager to be asked to pose for professional photographers that I really admired but, I also began to panic about my small chin, round jaw and sloping neck. Perhaps they hadn’t noticed my jowls? Maybe this was all a mistake. I even started a diet, but there was really no way I could lose enough weight to make a noticeable difference in my face before the pictures were taken. I was scared to death, but I didn’t want to let down my new friends and I really needed those new headshots, so I nervously agreed and showed up at their studio.
Sydnie and Stephen were completely positive from the moment I walked in the door. Sydnie complimented my complexion as she helped me with my make up. Stephen said my red hair was just fabulous and he couldn’t wait to photograph the light it reflected. They even loved all the outfits that I had brought.
We turned on some music and just hung out. We talked about current politics, religious beliefs, our favorite foods, love, art, sex, where the best New York City apartments can be found…and before I knew it, the cameras were snapping away. We were having so much fun that I forgot to thrust my chin down and out or to suck in my cheeks and play that trick with my tongue. I was dancing to the music, smiling into the lens and just having a great time with my friends and enjoying my life.
Stephen and Sydnie called a few days later. They were so excited about the photographs that they wanted me to come see them right away. I prepared myself to see shot after shot accentuating my non-chin, but I was wonderfully surprised. There wasn’t a single shot where I held my jaw in a kookie un-natural position. Instead, my true spirit was shining through and I looked comfortable in my skin. They are the best photos ever taken of me.
I learned so much about myself that day. Much more than how to pose when a camera is in the room. I realized that when I relax, all my natural beauty is able to shine. Sure, the Just My Size model has a jaw more square than mine. My face is round. But my face is not now and it never was the shapeless marshmallow fluff that I thought it was. When I am enjoying myself is when I am most beautiful and just as God made me. Red hair, round face and all!
Margret Echeverria won several awards for her starring role in the film Jigsaw Venus. She can be seen in several films and off-Broadway performing her one-woman show, “Orangerie.”
